Wednesday, March 4, 2015

[Draft 1] Essay


Racist commentary about the minority racial groups on the social media is no longer rare in Singapore because internet users take their internet freedom for granted and the consequences of their irresponsible use of the social media are not being heavily monitored by the law. The Media Authority Development (MDA) can work with social media companies to block users who post racist commentaries on their social media pages. The Ministry of Education can also urge schools to stress on the educating students about the responsible use of internet to prevent online racism from happening in the future.

Racism is the idea or belief that characteristic and abilities are attributed to people simply on the basis of their race and that some racial groups are superior to others (Shah, 2010). The increase in the number of racist commentaries on the minority races in Singapore is worrying as this will threaten the racial harmony and social cohesion that Singapore have preserved. The internet provides prevalence for people to voice out their opinions without revealing their true identity. They feel “empowered to be far more insulting when communicating through a modem than in real life” (Younge, 2012)

This leads us to a familiar issue back in 2012 when Ms Amy Cheong posted her profanity-laced remark on her Facebook account slamming Malay void deck weddings and also mocking the divorce rates of the Malay community (Tan, 2012). This resulted in anger among Singaporeans especially the Malay community in Singapore who retaliated using the social media to the offensive remark made by Amy Cheong. These are the consequences of online racism in Singapore.

There exist a law in Singapore under the Sedition Act 3 whereby anyone who publish remarks or comments that “promote feelings of ill-will and hostility between different races or classes of the population of Singapore…shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction for a first offence to a fine not exceeding $5,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 3 years or to both” (Sedition Act, 2013). For the racist remarks she posted, Cheong was given a warning from the police and was also fired from her job Assistant Director of the National Trades Union Congress (NTUC). Some Singaporeans felt that her punishments were not fair because it was not the same punishment as stated in the law.

The punishments she received from the authorities was deemed not enough to compensate for her irresponsible actions which had threatened the social cohesion and racial harmony in Singapore. There were also not much follow-ups on the consequences she faced which might give people the impression that posting racist commentaries online is acceptable. The use of internet in Singapore are also not being heavily monitored by MDA. There were various others such as “Heather Chua” who boldly criticized the Malays and Indians (Today, 2014). The actions taken against these irresponsible internet users needs to be more firm in order to prevent it from happening again. MDA can work with social media companies such as Facebook to remove or block users that post racist commentaries online. The law can only monitor a few out of the 5.47 million people in Singapore. Singaporeans cannot just depend on the law to prevent such occurrences but instead they can also cooperate with the law by being more conscious of what the consequences are.if they post racist commentaries and social media users can also prevent this by flagging or reporting any racist comments they encounter online to stop it from spreading around.


2 comments:


  1. 1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)

    -The idea of the essay was specific and focused.

    2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?

    -the introduction was well connected to the thesis and it was clear.

    3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?

    The first solution was well described and supported by good examples and evidence. However, it lacks evaluation still, probably due to the lack of time.

    4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?

    second solution was not present.

    5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?

    You need to further analyse the solution and evaluate them better.

    6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?

    citations were present, however no references were given.

    7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?

    The flow was smooth, however it felt very abrupt.

    8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.

    "One racist remark from an individual became a national problem as the law and the government steps in"
    This statement seems fragmented.

    9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?

    There are no references..

    10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?

    better analysis of example and solution and the writer could offer a better solution

    -Asyraf

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  2. 1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)

    I think it is a really interesting topic to focus on since racial harmony is such a vital yet in sensitive topic in Singapore. I like that you bring in very relevant examples such as the Amy Cheong incident. Your ideas are well-supported with good topic sentences.

    2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?

    Yes, the problem is clearly stated in the introduction and well expressed.

    3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?

    You explained the first solution about the fines and imprisonment well however there wasn’t much evaluation to the solution.


    4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?

    - not present


    5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?

    The evaluation for the solution


    6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?

    I think you have a good number of outside materials to support your problem and solutions.



    7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?

    I think you have a very smooth flow of content with good and appropriate transition words. It is easy to read and understand.


    8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.


    9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?

    No referencing

    ReplyDelete